I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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