I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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