I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
