so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
