So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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