woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
