I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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