So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Come share oat with me in your robe
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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