dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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