Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
