Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
