Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
is that a dick in a sweater?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
