i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
This house was built for laser tag.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize