whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
