Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
