I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Randomize
