He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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