You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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