WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
