The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I didn't notice because vodka
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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