I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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