someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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