her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
