Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
