Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
