i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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