Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize