It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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