Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I want to be your penis for a week.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize