I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
