We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
