I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize