accomplished twins. life is a go
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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