How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize