Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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