kristin has been a bad kristin
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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