put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
