Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
