they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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