you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
