i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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