so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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