Will you blow on my dice?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
