Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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