K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
