yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize