I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Are we still banned from the library?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
