The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Mom said you looked used
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
