My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
