worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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