Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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