yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
