walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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