She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize