If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
