Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He passed out mid-signature
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
