I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
