Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
