Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
