So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
