if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
