we have officially lost it.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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