my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Holy sore nipples Batman
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
