You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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