I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
