Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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