you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
found the other keg... it's in the tree
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
