I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
