she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize