I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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