I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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