i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
