What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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