be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
